Thank you for participating in our Relational Studies course. The students will post questions below, weekly. Please respond to all questions by pressing the comment link associated with each question. We will be looking at the differences and similarities between answers. Make sure you click on Older Posts at the bottom of the page as many of the questions will be on the next page.

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Tuesday, March 6, 2012

How did your proposal happen?  What thought process went into proposing to your partner?


  1. Our proposal went something like this......Ken, I'm pregnant.

  2. I proposed to Tricia in June of 2003 at a park in East Hartford, CT looking over the city of Hartford. I packed a bottle of champagne, some snacks and, of course, a ring. Tricia and I had already decided that we wanted to get married at the end of that summer, but we didn't tell anyone until it was official and she had a ring on her finger (I was having a friend make the ring for me).
    I went the old-fashioned route and, before proposing, drove to Maine one day, took her parents to lunch, and asked their permission to marry Tricia. I never thought of what I would do if they actually said 'no' but luckily didn't have to deal with that.
    As far as the thought process goes, it was all about timing with us (the old couple). The biological clock was a tickin', we knew we wanted to be together and we knew if we didn't get married before September we'd be waiting another year. So...we got engaged in June and then married in August.
    The quick summer wedding made the parents of Tricia's 1st grade students nervous that year as they watched her closely for signs of pregnancy!

  3. When I proposed to Ellen in 2000 one of the major challenges I had was the fact we were separated by over a thousand miles. I was in the Air Force at pilot training in Mississippi and Ellen was in Maine. I had known for a while that she was the woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, but given how hectic both our lives were and the geographic separation it was difficult to find the right time to propose. Finally I had an opportunity in October 2000 when I moved to Eglin AFB in Florida to break away and propose. I wanted it to be a surprise so I planned everything through a mutual friend and also had some fun along the way by pulling her chain a little bit. We had been talking about marriage for a while and I knew she and I both were ready and wanted to spend the rest of our lives together. Leading up to my trip to come back home to propose I mentioned not having enough money to buy a ring a number of times to string her along a little bit (and maybe bought an expensive shredder that infuriated her). I flew home and arranged to secretly meet up with her at her parents house after she left work. Luckily after she got over the surprise she said yes and we spent the next few days on a trip I had planned to Bar Harbor. I wanted the moment to be special and went through a lot of pains to ensure that she didn't know it was coming and would be completely surprised. From a timing perspective it is hard to say when I decided that I wanted to marry her, but there was no doubt in my mind when I did finally propose to her. -Matt

  4. I proposed to Jenna in July of 2009 and had it planned for several months. My main goal was to keep it a complete surprise and considering all that I had to do, I felt like it was a success. The biggest problem I ran into was finding the time to break away from Jenna and ask her dad for his blessing in marriage....we were living in North Carolina at the time and her parents were living in Maine. So, I pretended to take a "golf trip" up to New England and spend some time with her folks...yeah, I think she pretty much figured out what I was doing, but I came up with a great story when I got back home. (Let's be serious, we had been talking about marriage for several months, if not a year, so eventually we knew a proposal was going to come.)
    Several months after I spoke with her dad (and mom, which was not explained to me in all the movies or books I've read [but advice for all you guys, if her mother is a big part of their relationship, talk to her seperately as well]), we were at Perkins Cove for a lunch date and planning on talking a walk down the Marginal Way. During lunch, Jenna was talking about places to get married, etc. and the entire time I couldn't stop smiling because I was sitting across the table with the ring sitting in my pocket! Once we started walking I asked if we could sit down on one of the benches. I got down on one knee and I remember just speaking from the heart and saying there were only two things in this life I'm sure of, and one of them is needing spending the rest of my life with you.

    As far as a thought process, there really wasn't a whole lot for the proposal...just the pressure of asking her dad. When I visited, I got up to Maine on a Friday and left on a Sunday. I was so freaking nervous because this is something I've obviously never done before and it was difficult to prepare for - how in the hell do you ask a woman's father that you want to steal her away from his family?? Well, it came down to the 11th hour on Sunday (actually the 16th hole of the golf course before we went to the airport) and the foursome behind us started to cruise up in their cart. I knew I had to do it then or it would have been a complete waste of a trip. So, there I was sitting on the tee box with Greg about to tee off on the Par 3 hole. I said, (after clearing my throat) "Greg...I came up here for a reason, and I've been delaying this long enough. Your daughter is the absolute most important person in my life and I couldn't imagine living a single day without her." After what felt like an eternity once I got through with my speech, he slowly walked up to me.... He stared at me in the eye, slapped me in the face, started to laugh, and said, "welcome to the family, Brett!" I'd say that was a pretty convincing yes...

    (Sorry for the long response)


  5. WHOA...The first person I spoke to about proposing to Sheryl was Erika, and ofcourse she was all gaga about it. It was good to have a close friend (female at that) to talk to about it. The plan was very elaborate, sorta like a scene from your favorite movie...This is way too much to type. Please remind me to tell you the story in person...

    I just wanted it to be special and something that Sheryl and I would remember for the rest of our lives. -- Val