Welcome!

Thank you for participating in our Relational Studies course. The students will post questions below, weekly. Please respond to all questions by pressing the comment link associated with each question. We will be looking at the differences and similarities between answers. Make sure you click on Older Posts at the bottom of the page as many of the questions will be on the next page.

Thank you again for sharing with our students!

Monday, March 26, 2012

In preparation for our luncheon next week, we thought this would be a good opportunity for you to get to know us better and ask us some questions.  If each couple can ask a question, each student will respond to all of the questions.  We look forward to meeting you!

43 comments:

  1. Ken and Louise: here are a couple for you to chose from:

    1. What qualities do you look for with a person that you are looking for a relationship with?

    2. What causes conflict in your relationships? How do you handle the conflict?

    3. Social media (Facebook, twitter). was not around when we were dating. What, if any is the impact of social media on relationships today?

    We can't wait to meet you all!!!

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    1. 1) I personally do not look for a lot of qualities in a relationship. As long as the guy is funny and nice to me then I think that’s all the matters but good looks are always a plus.

      2) What causes conflicts in my relationships in the past have been trust and lies. Both of which are big things in a relationship. I guess I don’t really handle it in the best way because I just let it go so it doesn’t cause a fight.

      3) Social Media can be a big deal in a relationship but it has never caused issues for me. I do know that Facebook has caused break ups just because some people don’t like to change the relationship status, or they talk to other people and ignore the person they are dating.

      Hailey W.

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    2. 1. I want my partner to be kind, gentle, caring, sensitive, loving, faithful, honest, trusting, and have a good personality.
      2. Things that can cause conflict in my relationships can be little silly things or more serious things. The way that I take care of the conflict is to talk it out and figure out what they didn’t like. I will then not do it again.
      3. Some of the impacts are more drama, sometimes less time face to face; it causes many more problems then what there should be.

      Josh Goodin

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    3. I look for someone who has a great sense of humor and who is willing to try something new, also someone who cares about me and doesn’t put me down.
      I think that my girlfriend’s little sister can cause some conflict between us, but we usually try to push that aside so we can enjoy each other’s company.
      I think that Facebook has a huge impact on some relationships today because people can send messages that they probably couldn’t have given people otherwise.
      Aaron L. Brown

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    4. 1 I don’t really know what exactly I look for in a relationship but I do like to be with someone who cares about me like I would care about her.
      2 I normally don’t handle conflict as well as others but in a dating relationship I don’t find myself in conflict until my partner or I ends the relationship, but I haven’t gotten to a point where bigger conflicts could happen.
      3 I have mixed feelings about facebook. Sometimes it’s a good way to stay in touch and see what’s going on with other people. The bad side is people become big stalkers or will hack into and change everything on the other.
      Damien.M.Sullivan

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    5. 1. What qualities do you look for with a person that you are looking for a relationship with?

      I can’t really put words to what I look for. I can list off some traits but understand that these words aren’t enough.
      -Ability be silly one minute and have a serious conversation the next
      -Affectionate
      -Masculine (Not macho man, but gentlemanly)
      -Respectful of me, and understanding of how lucky they are to have me. (Not to be conceited, haha)
      -Has a future and will work to get to it
      -Family oriented
      -Loves animals, willing to ride horses with me
      -Sense of style
      -Loyal
      -Affectionate
      -Knows that they are in control of their own life

      I am lucky enough to be in a relationship with someone who has all of these qualities and more.



      2. In previous relationships the conflicts I had had centered around drug use, and someone believing that they have no control over their life so it’s not worth trying. With the guy who was using drugs, I gave him an ultimatum after I saw all aspects of his life and personality go downhill, including the way he treated me. The drug was marijuana, a NON PHYSICALLY ADDICTIVE drug. I told him if he couldn’t clean himself up for a month I was going to leave. He told me he would have to think about it and that wasn’t good enough for me. Later he became upset because I left him for “no reason”
      Another conflict I have had was with a guy who was great at making excuses, but terrible at getting things done. He was a few years older than me and I was working harder at getting his life together when he was. Nothing was ever his fault, it was always someone else’s. I eventually left him because I felt I “outgrew” him because I was going somewhere and he wasn’t even trying to.
      In the current relationship I am in we hardly ever have conflict and when we do we sit and talk about it. I am the kind of person who likes to process things in conflict, so I rarely yell or say things I regret. We usually have things settled within 5 minutes or so. We always make sure we communicate and if we feel a conflict isn’t fully solved we go back and solve it.



      3. What, if any is the impact on social media on relationships today?

      Personally, social media when it comes to relationships serves as nothing more than an online photo album. I am not a huge social media person, I can survive without Facebook. Other people however, it can be a huge source of relationship drama, people posting status’s that everyone can see about how they are mad at their partner. I don’t think that stuff should be spread around Facebook, and I think that it can be very detrimental to the couple.

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    6. 1. The qualities I look for in a relationship are they have to be pretty and have a good personality.


      2. What causes conflict in my relationship and how do I fix them? Mostly arguments and trust problems are what cause me issues. The way I fix them is I say “Your right and I’m wrong”.

      3. It causes a lot of conflict that's not needed because they can see what you're doing now and what you were doing before.

      Chris

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    7. All - Your answers are wise beyond your years. Thank you for taking the time to put so much thought into your answers and sharing such personal insights. Now we can't wait to meet you even more! Ken and Louise

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    8. 1. What qualities do you look for with that you are looking for a relationship with?
      The qualities I look for in a girl is to be pretty and nice.

      2. What causes conflict in your relationships? I haven’t had any conflict in my relationships but I have conflict with my dad which causes arguments.
      3. How do you handle the conflict? The way I handle conflict is to just walk away and just lock my door and play music or video games.
      Colin Emery

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  2. If you could control your future, at what age would you get married, how many children would you have and what values would you want to instill in your children?

    See you soon!!
    Steve & Tricia

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    1. If I could control my future I would get married at the age of 28 because I would be old enough to hopefully be out of college and about to start a career if I already haven’t started one. I would like to have 1 child because I was always an only child growing up and I loved it. If I needed something I would talk to my Aunt about things that normally sisters would talk about. I would not want my kids to be fighting and I know there’s always going to be that “mom likes you better” feeling and you can only say so much to a kid to make them not think that. The values I would want to instill in my child are communication, compassion, integrity, trust, and truthfulness.

      Hailey W.

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    2. 1. If I could control my future I would get married in my mid 20’s. I would want 2-3 children with at least one baby boy, and I would want to raise them how I was. I am a gentleman with old fashion views regarding women.

      Josh Goodin

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    3. If I could control my future I would get married at 28. I would have at least two children, one boy and one girl. I would want my children to know the value of honesty and trust. Trust is a very important thing in my life. If I couldn’t trust my friends I guess I would feel too strict.
      Aaron L. Brown

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    4. If I could control my future, I would like to get married when I get out of college at twenty seven and I would like to have a child at around the same time period. There are a few values that I want my kids to have: a good work ethic, family and friend oriented, and honesty.

      Damien.M.Sullivan

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    5. 1. If you could control your future, at what age would you get married, how many children would you have and what values would you want to instill on your children?

      I’m a little old fashioned about marriage and children. I would want to marry in my early 20’s and have all my children before the age of 30. I think this is healthier for both the mother and children because your body is at it’s peak, and it would be easier to keep up with the kids. I would however put that off if I am not in a financially stable situation.
      When it comes to values I think that it is crucial to try to teach values to children as early as possible. That way, their values can usually become building blocks for their decisions when they are away at school with other peers who may try to influence them. If a child is strong in their values, I think they are less likely to succumb to peer pressure. I think it is so important to try to promote a child having a level head on their shoulders. I would want to teach my child to be open minded and creative. I would teach them that family is and will always be there for them, to cherish creativity and uniqueness without developing an “us and them” mentality. I would also want to teach them that they could come to me or their father with literally anything.

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    6. If I could control my future I would get married around the age of 28 I would have 5 kids 3 boys and 2 girls. There wouldn’t be any values I want to give to them because I want them to just be themselves.

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    7. I would get married around 27. I would have one child. I would like my child to not to be rude to other people and I would want them to keep their temp to themselves.
      Colin Emery

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  3. I am a 7th and 8th grade teacher. I am blessed that my students talk pretty freely with me. I consider myself pretty "with it" and hip ( well aware that this admission makes me so not hip and "with it"), but I am appalled at their lack of naïveté and innocence around subjects that I hadn't heard of yet at their age. Was there anything that a teacher or trusted adult could have said or done that would have changed or help to shape your opinions on sex, drinking and drugs....keeping in my that I can only say or do so much without possibly getting myself in trouble?
    What was the most eye opening realization for you as you read the book, had class discussions, or read our blog responses?
    Pick 5 words that define "love" for you.

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    1. I don’t think an adult could have done more to change my opinions of drugs and drinking because growing up I saw it all, between all my uncles, aunts, and my mom and grandmothers relationships. I saw alcohol poisoning, and over dose/ addiction of drugs so even though I never really talk to adults about that stuff until now (I am a Sophomore) I knew that I thought they were not good things and I didn’t want to do them. As for sex I think you can only talk to them so much for them to really listen to you. I used to want kids extremely early in life (high school) but after watching the shows 16 and Pregnant and Teen Mom my view on early pregnancy is to wait. So maybe all it takes is an adult talking but maybe they need to watch something like that and see what the girls and boys go through with that kind of thing.

      Hailey W.

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    2. The most eye opening things I have realized while reading the book and reading the blog is probably just that relationships are more than just love. They take work from both sides of it and you should be on the same page as each other.

      5 words that define love for me
      1. Compassion
      2. Faithfulness
      3. Trust
      4. Communication
      5. Loyalty

      Hailey W

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    3. 1. I think that my middle school health teachers should have hit my desk to wake me up and make me pay attention to the material.
      2. The thing that opened my eyes the most would probably be reading your responses on the blog and getting to hear a new perspective on relationships.
      3. 5 words that define love would be
      1. passion
      2. trust
      3. loyalty
      4. faithful
      5. caring

      Josh Goodin

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    4. I wish that someone would have actually talked about this stuff with me when I was in 7th grade, but I can’t imagine how the conversation(s) would have gone.
      I think that the most opening realization for me as we read is that all couples have problems, but they almost always find a way to solve the problem. Also that honesty plays a role on how the relationships last.
      Love is a rose in a garden. Love is something that I really can’t describe. I think you can find love but someone can’t really describe it except when they say “Now that’s what love looks like.”
      Aaron L. Brown

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    5. 1) I have no parents and had no adult that I felt comfortable talking to. I honestly don’t know exactly how it would have changed anything for me. And there is the possibility that it would have changed nothing.
      2) I have had no eye opening experiences in this class but I do have fun all throughout.
      3) The five words that describe love in my words are: Respect, honesty, faith, everlasting, and feeling safe.

      Damien.M.Sullivan

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    6. If the adults in my life taught safety instead of abstinence (when it comes to sex drinking and drugs) I think that would have been a larger help. If they spoke about it as a fact of life, not some big huge taboo thing, I think that would give kids a healthier view. On sex, I think that it is important to stress not to waste your first time just to “get it out of the way” or because everyone else is doing it. I say don’t encourage these actions but don’t have a strong negative reaction, because that is sometimes a reason young people will do these things in the first place.

      2. 5 words that define LOVE for me are passion, companionship, loyalty, attraction, and caring.

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    7. 1. There isn't anything anything anyone could gave said to change my decision

      2. The most eye opening realization is how many excuses people will make for their partner.

      3. 5 words that define love: love is just a word so I can’t really think of five words to describe it.

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    8. Has any person ever told you something that changed you like drugs sex and drinking?? No one has said anything that would have changed me.

      What was the most eye opening realization for you as you read the book had class discussions or read our blog responses?? Responses it was awesome that you guys share your love life with us.

      Pick 5 words that define love. Compassing, understanding, sharing, taste, weakness,

      Colin Emery

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  4. 1) What do you hope to gain by participating in this class?

    2) Who is/are your role models?

    3) If you could see the future, what would you be doing in 5 years?

    Sheryl and Val........Looking forward to meeting you all

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    Replies
    1. By participating in this class I hope to learn what a true and healthy relationship looks like and to learn what is an excuse and what is real in a relationship.

      In my life I do not have a single role model for a relationship. I feel that nobody in my personal life has a lasting relationship right now. I look up to some of my teachers like Erika and Gina J

      In 5 years I will be 20 years old so I see myself finishing my schooling and maybe starting to get my life settled in the direction I want it to go in.


      Hailey W

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    2. 1. I hope to gain a better understanding of relationships and how they work.
      2. My role models are my teachers, service personnel, and my family.
      3. I see myself in the armed forces doing well.

      Josh Goodin

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    3. I think that my little brother’s mom is one of my role models because she is always there when I need her and is always ready to lend a hand.
      In five years I think that I might be in the military. I have always contemplated going to the military right after high school, but some people (like Erika) think I should do something like be a counselor or work with children.
      Aaron L. Brown

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    4. 1) I hope to achieve a better understanding of what I want for my future relationships.
      2) My role model is my little sister Destiny. I look up to her because of her inner strength and her love for everyone and everything.
      3) In five years I could see myself studying in my third year of college for architecture and graphic designs.
      Damien.M.Sullivan

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    5. 1. I hope to gain more knowledge about relationships through this class, and share some life changing experiences around them.

      2. I don’t really have many “role models.” I just have traits that I know I want, and I strive to achieve them.


      3. In five years I hope to have just gotten my bachelor’s degree and either be going on to my masters or heading into a rewarding career. If the right circumstances were to occur, it would be lovely to be married. If I am finished with school, am married and in a VERY stable (financially, mentally, and in my relationship.) I would like to be starting my career as a Mom and house wife.

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    6. 1. What I hope to gain by participating is a better understanding about how relationships work.

      2. My role models are my grandparents because they used to always show their love for each other.

      3. I don’t know where I will be in five years. Hopefully I can get my act together so I can live a pretty good life.

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    7. To learn how people are.

      Ray Allen is my role model.

      In the future I would be in college trying to be a lawyer.
      Colin Emery

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  5. Have your thoughts/views changed at all from day one of this class to now?

    What is a "healthy relationship" to you?

    SOO bummed we can't be there to meet you all!!! :( Take care!

    Jenna and Brett

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    Replies
    1. My thoughts/ views have very much changed from day one to now of this class. I used to think that I wanted to have kids and get married young (like high school aged) and now I see its way better to wait. I have changed my view of what the bottom line would be and what I should expect in a relationship.

      To me a healthy relationship is two people working together and being happy. You should have as much love for that person as you would for your family member because one day they might end up a part of the family

      Hailey W.

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    2. 1. This class has opened my eyes to what I want and deserve out of a relationship and what I will and will not tolerate.
      2. A healthy relationship in my eyes is when all the traits I look for and go the way I want them to and we both get along with each other and each others family.

      Josh Goodin

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    3. Honestly I don’t really know if my views have changed. I want to say that they have but I am not very sure.
      I think a healthy relationship has to have honesty, respect, and of course love. If you can’t trust your partner, you can’t say that you love them. You may think you love them but in reality you don’t.
      Aaron L. Brown

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    4. 1) My thoughts have changed a lot since the beginning of the class. Every girl I have dated was normally nothing I actually look for or want in a relationship, and now I realize that and set myself to waiting and figuring out how it would end if I were to be with a certain girl.
      2) I would say no fights but that would mean we’re not human, but realistically I would say minimal fights, a lot of laughs, happy when we’re together, and love each other even for our flaws.

      Damien.M.Sullivan

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    5. 1. I just recently joined this class, so I have not been here enough time to change my opinions.

      2. A healthy relationship is one in which you and your partner have two separate lives and choose to share them together. One where each person is a whole person and they don’t “need” each other to survive, but instead enjoy each other’s company and support enough to make small sacrifices in order to be together. I think that in a healthy relationship people should be best friends as well as lovers. I am lucky enough to have this kind of relationship now, and it is the most wonderful feeling. In my opinion there are many types of love, and not all of them are healthy.

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    6. 1. Yes. It’s kind of an eye opener because when I started this class I never had a bottom line, I didn’t know what I wanted in a relationship and what I should bring to a relationship.

      2. I define love when two people are dedicated and will never do anything to hurt the other person.

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    7. Have your thoughts/ views changed at all from day one of class to now? I have only been here for five weeks my views haven’t changed.

      What is a healthy relationship to you?? A healthy relationship to me is no arguing at all.
      Colin Emery

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  6. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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