Thank you for participating in our Relational Studies course. The students will post questions below, weekly. Please respond to all questions by pressing the comment link associated with each question. We will be looking at the differences and similarities between answers. Make sure you click on Older Posts at the bottom of the page as many of the questions will be on the next page.

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Wednesday, February 8, 2012

How did you decide how many children you wanted? Was having children planned for you?


  1. Steve and I definitely planned to have children - it was something we talked about even before we got married. After we had Lily, we both felt strongly that we wanted her to have a brother or sister (both Steve & I are very close to our own siblings and we wanted Lily to be able to experience that relationship as well). Our next pregnancy ended in miscarriage and by the time I got pregnant with Mason I was 42 years old and would be 43 when he was born. Steve and I decided, because of our age, that we would not try to have any more children after Mason was born. If we were younger, I'm not sure how many children we would have decided to have, but in our situation it was kind of decided for us.
    Tricia & Steve

  2. Matt and I had lots of conversations about kids both while we were dating and when we first got married. We both wanted children but agreed that we were young and wanted to experience life together before we started a family. We also wanted to financially prepare for kids...not possible by the way. We planned that five years into our marriage we would start our family. Little did we know that it would take us two years and the possibility of fertility drugs before Isabel would come into the world. And come into the world she did! That child, although I loved her dearly and still do, was a terror! She cried and screamed for the first four months of her life. That was all the birth control I needed! Our second child was not planned, not by a long shot! Not because we didn't want another, in fact we had always talked about having two, but because we were still adjusting to life with one. Isabel was 9 months old when we found out I was pregnant again. I had just decided to return to work, and we were finally settling into a routine. Lesson one with kids: they make the plans, so be ready for anything. Addison is 18 months younger than Isabel. Some days they fight like only sisters can and other days they play like only sister can. Would we change it if we could go back? Nope. Cause lesson one would probably bite us in the ass again! -Ellen and Matt

  3. Brett and I have been married for a year and a half. We've always planned to do some traveling first, so we didn't want to have kids until I was about 30 (him 28). From the beginning we've talked about having at least two kids. We got a puppy in July, and yes, she is like our "first child". I never imagined how much work even just a dog would be. Though I used to think I wanted more than 2 children (and Brett had always been open to it), I'm finding that in raising kids, two sounds perfect after seeing how exhausting a dog is. I'm really excited though, now that we are both settled in careers and a house, to begin a family. It's awesome how talking about our future has gone from "one day..." to becoming a reality in the near future because we both finally feel ready for that huge step.

    Jenna and Brett

  4. Ken and I talked about having kids while we were dating. Ken is an only Child so he knew he didn't want just one child. He always dreamed of having brothers and sisters, and that's what he wanted for his kids. He often joked about having enough to field a basketball team! I on the other hand am from a family of seven children. I loved having so many brothers and sisters, but I knew that I didn't want seven. We ended up in the middle with three, and ken finally realized his dream and gained six brothers and sisters when we married. Did we plan our children, no, but ken and I aren't planners by nature!

    1. Sheryl and I always talked about wanting kids when we got married, although we could never decide on how many kids we wanted. Sheryl always said she wanted 2 kids, on the other hand, I have always wanted more than 2. Having been married now for 4 years come (March 28th), and being blessed with 2 beautiful daughters (Jasmyne 3, and Julianne 1), I could not ask for anything more. Did we plan for Jaz and Juelz, not in the slightest. I doubt if planning would have worked for us, I tend to break "plans" from time to time anyways.........lol (Val)